Nicky And The Magical Bottle
By Eunize
On a misty, spring afternoon, Nicky, who is a beautiful girl, flicked her long light brown, shiny hair. She was looking with her dark brown eyes, for rubbish, in a park called Roses Park, near Wigram Primary School in the Philippines.
She was picking rubbish with her friend called Robbin. Robbin is a funny, nice guy. He had black hair and he had light brown eyes. They were both 19 years old. They were picking up rubbish because they wanted the park to be clean and no rubbish around the park.
After an hour they started to get tired. Robbin told Nicky that he will go back to his mansion. Nicky said yes.
Just then, when Robbin left Nicky picked up a clear, shiny bottle. She had no idea that the bottle she picked up was a magical bottle and a genie that was a beautiful girl was inside the bottle. Nicky rubbed the the bottle then something happened. There was gold glitter falling from the sky.
After two seconds the genie inside the bottle appeared out from the bottle, Nicky was so scared that she was walking backwards and she fainted. The genie was trying to wake her up but Nicky didn’t waked up at all. The genie wanted to use her magic but Nicky has to tell her to make her wake up but Nicky fainted.
After two minutes Nicky finally woke up. When she woke up she said ‘what are you’, ‘I’m a genie, I will give you three big wishes and a bad reverse will happen to me. If you use the wishes for badness then you can’t be my master anymore. If you tell me to magic small things then your three big wishes are still there’, the genie said with a calm voice.
After a few weird days, Nicky droved to the park and Nicky finally got use to the genie and wished a big thing to the genie wich was Nicky to give the genie’s power to her and the genie said ‘but master Nicky that’s not allowed’, ‘ give your power to me now’, Nicky shouted. Then the genie gave her powers because she can’t not give Nicky the wish. When Nicky got the genie’s power and Nicky turned into a genie and the old genie got free and became a normal human again.
What Nicky doesn’t know that Robin was in the park after all and when he saw nicky and the genie he decided to hide at the back of a tree from the park and watch them. Then Robbin showed himself to Nicky but NIcky didn’t see him because Nicky got stuck in the bottle were the genie came from.
After a few seconds Robbin made Nicky come out of the bottle by rubbing the bottle and then Nicky got out and Nicky said ‘ master robbin’, ‘ i'm your master now’, Robbin laughed.
After two days Robbin and Nicky teleported to the park. When they arrived Robbin told Nicky to magic a bike so Nicky magiced a bike and they started to bike away.
They did one more things. The last one was Nicky magiced a magic carpet and they had a ride in the magic carpet. When Robbin saw Nicky happy Robbin walked up to her and asked what to wished something to her which was Nicky to be free and Nicky did Robbin’s wished then Nicky got free and walked to her family’s house and she lived happily after with Robbin and her family. The End!
I like the way you described Nicky and where she was near the start of the story so I knew exactly who and where in my minds eye.
ReplyDeleteYou have also used really clear time order phrases so the story flows well.
I wonder if next time, you could build the idea of Nicky wanting her freedom a bit more so that the ending could be a dramatic obtaining of freedom from being a genie and how she felt to be herself again?
I have not seen the Disney movie, Alladin, have you? That would give lots of ideas for genie stories:)
Hi Mrs North,
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting at my blog post and thank you for being honest abou
t my work.
Yes I could do what you have suggest if I can but thanks for the suggestion you gave me.
Yes I have seen the movie Alladin but only half of it.
Thank you again for commenting on my blog post.